I just need to cry...

I am so sick of not being able to do anything. I am stuck here with 2 kids and one on the way. What job can I get? I had to quit work with Gavin due to Sciatica, so what job could I get now? I can just see the interview. Oh btw, I will need about 6 weeks off...probably more...in a couple months. Yeah, that would go over well. *roll eyes*

Ryan doesn't make enough. Plain and simple. He doesn't make enough for a family of 3, let alone our family of soon to be 5! I just don't know what to do. If he asks for a raise, he will most likely get laughed at...they are just dicks like that.

He put in for his disability, but Lord knows how long that will take. *sigh* And apparently, it won't be as much of backpay as I thought, but it will still be *some* which is better than nothing...of course. We have $100 in savings...that's it. But you know what, that's more than we had a month ago. I am proud to have $100 in savings...how sad is that?

If only he could reenlist while at Drill in Nov. Man, that would take a load off. We could pay off the van and most, if not all, of our credit cards. Then I wouldn't feel so bad about everything because our credit cards wouldn't be almost maxed out. Ugh! Yes, we would then get more in debt because we would use our cc's, but it's only until he can find something better than this $8/hour piece of shit job!

I'm kind of scared about our electric bill...now that we have 2 furnaces going when the heat is on. That should be interesting. I seriously just need a good "get drunk" night, but can't do that until January. Darn kid! lol

That is all for now. Sometimes it just helps to write things out.